THE BIG BOOK OF SITTING DUCKS

IS

BACK

#5

NOTE ON THE PREFACE TO CHAPTER FIVE

Writing prefaces have been my greatest asset or so I think; and that is not the reason why I haven’t continued this magnum opus of mine, the reasons may range from something to something but what that something might be something of a different discussion. It is also to be noted that the BIG BOOK OF SITTING DUCKS will appear in italics.

This is by request of millions of readers who called in from Italy commanding me to issue a translation of work to Italy, owing to the fact that not many intellects here in my country were willing to cater to the Italians as they thought they might doing a great national betrayal by writing in Italian, so I thought that my fans back in Europe might appreciate this.

The European edition begins from here; Asians are kindly requested to adjust with the Europeans or the Olympics will be boycotted.

At last, the preface to chapter five.

When I did set out to write the preface for every chapter ‘Malabar yesterday’ a daily which publishes news which will not affect day to day proceedings in any way touted me as the next best writer after J.K.Rowling. Although Ms Rowling is unhappy about the fact, she promptly called me to congratulate my great achievement in a short span of time. Friends of mine in London also put in that she wanted my books to be burnt secretly, I am quite unhappy over the fact and that I take this opportunity to express my unhappiness.

It is quite sad that Rowling does not know that I do not have even a word of mine published and the books which were burnt were not mine.

So the preface to chapter five is dedicated to the creator of Harry Potter which will never remain as a positive influence in my life.

CHAPTER FIVE: BACK TO THE BASICS

As we return to the village of Karpura, many are exited over the reunion of the two brothers who will form an alliance to fight in the Battle of Ghokuparen (a neighboring village which takes pleasure in hosting bloody wars)

People have even suspended the Makilawaaws (the friendship festivals between the Ceetians and Karpoorians if you remember from the previous chapters if not go to hell with your bad memory) to watch the twins.

The important fact to be noted is that the villagers have never seen the phenomenon of twins even though they have a teeming population which grows at a rate of 12% every week without the inclusion of refugees.

Twins were never born in Karpura atleast in the recorded history of the village which is maintained by one Dr.John of the records departments.

Dr. John was born during one of the many days which went unnoticed by the people of Karpura. Born to rich and impatient parents, he only had the good fortune to have a first name while his parents were busy trying to think of a name for their second child who ran away at the age of fifteen and hence people do not remember him nowadays but The Old Wise Man secretly admitted in a widely telecast television program that the brother of Dr. John was the original Old Wise Man and that he himself was just an impersonator.

The interview was viewed by 12 million people across the globe but nobody could decipher what was said because only 0.09% of the world talking population could understand that language and co incidentally all of the 0.09% was unavailable for comment.

The John’s are an ancient family in Karpura so to say they were one of the founding families,history books from the Kapura High School tell us that the john’s were so docile that they refuse to accept that they are members of the founding fraternity which led to the circulation of exactly 11 rumors which were covered extensively in the local newspapers of Ceetia.

World statisticians have also said that Ceetians are the world’s no 1 in generation and circulation of rumors; they even enjoy reading their own share of rumor which also happens to be rumor.

One such rumor was that; I mean which considered the involvement of the John’s is that as follows

In December 23^rd 1978, an investigative reporter by name Jarry Cornbox working for the Kapura Times reported to have found an ancient box in his backyard of his ancestral home somewhere in the midst of a relatively unknown dessert near Kapura which the Kapurian Geographical society fail to recognize as a part of the village.

The contents of the ancient box were listed in the times,

*Karpurian Poori(a dish native to our village) wrapped in special army polyethylene paper to last for a hundred years.(Jarry Cornbox also testified that the Poori did taste fresh thereby increasing the sales of the polyethylene paper by a historic 123% in 15 weeks)

* Socks with bad designs of famous karpoorian

* Objectionable Literature from the 60’s pertaining to the Kapura (the details of which will be lucidly and brilliantly explained in the chapters to come)

*And finally the secret File(hehe!!!!)

The box also contained few old editions of the Karpura Daily but was not reported by the Karpura Times fearing an increase in market share in the otherwise unknown magazine read only by retired diplomats who favored blonde models in the front page.

THUS ENDS THE FIFTH PART IN THIS NEVERENDING STORY.

SATYEKI