THE BATTLE OF GOKHUPAREN

HAPPENS TO BE THE SIXTH PART IN THE LEGENDARY QUEST

FOR

THE BIG BOOK OF SITTING DUCKS

The year is unknown,

Nobody had cared to put down a date. The historians are to be blamed as they were quite uneducated in the matters of chronology which should have been their first priority but instead historians found use in other fields more than in history. Take for example ‘Williams’ Auder otherwise just known as Will in the Society of former historians who used to meet up at Town hall in Karpura which underwent a major facelift in the years during the Battle of Gokhuparen. Will studied history at Karpura University; obsessed with peace he neglected his duties in patiently writing diaries of local drunken bawls and cock fights.

“Peace is something very important for our country, if there is something that I wish to stand-by other than my wife it would be peace” he said to an audience who threw asteroids of tomatoes on him. This was the during the International Violence and War summit, political commentators and Karpura aficionados dubbed the summit as the ultimate meeting of democratic dictators, it is still a mysterious question why Will was asked to speak at such a summit.

The quote later went on to be listed on the Karpura Daily’s list of quotes which you will never say during a public meeting. The quote was ranked 34^th which I believe is due to unassuming nature of Will Auder.

The quote which came first in the list was “I do” by The Old Wise man which was uttered during ‘The Great Progression’ (in other words the years between ‘The Great Fire’ and ‘The Not so Great fire’)

The quote was made famous by the Karpura Daily on the fateful day of September the third when The Old Wise Man decided to get married to a queen from a land which was once called Africa.

It is not that the Old Wise Man wanted to get married, he said in a later interview to an exclusive channel KarpuraTV 21and half*5. He merely thought that the democratic position of the Karpura Queen had been vacant for sometime now (days after the post was created) and that his village will do well with a queen.

‘The Search for Our Queen: The Struggle to find/make a heir’ is a book written by one Mr. John of whom you have been recently acquainted with which deals with the undertakings of the Bystanders (the official hunt party for the new queen), the book deals with the practical difficulties in searching for a queen, the book reported the complete truth of the event and was obviously burnt and banned, but the author Mr. John was spared because he had used a pseudonym and very different one- Dr.John.

After 1 month of worldwide searches and talent competitions a woman was chosen from the far far lands in the centre of Africa which had created much controversy than anything on earth (although there was one called the Karpura Saturn Landings- now televised widely as to being true entirely)

The subjects in this case the poor Karpurians did not believe in the credibility of the search and thought that his woman was the childhood girl friend of The Old Wise man and that he had deliberately planned the event, a major rebellion was undone on the next day when The Old Wise Man announced that his wifw would continue to act in stage-plays even after becoming Queen (the woman allegedly being a stage superstar in the erstwhile Communion Of Democratic Socialist Entertainers of Sertuiy(her village where she had gained the reputation as the Seductress of Sertuiy))

The very next day The Old Wise Man said that he would also act opposite her in these plays to oppose any cultural breakdown.

The very very next day, The Old Wise Man formerly known as the ‘Prince who was old and also wise’ became ‘Emperor of the Holy Soil and surrounding water bodies’ while the Seductress of Sertuiy became the Queen Neve-r-sa-yitis when the Old Wise Man said the words when asked by the District Judge Of the Department Of Marriages(which includes divorce and childcare)

“Do you really want to make this woman the queen of Karpura?”

“I do”

As I said before the historians failed to record this as one of the major cause of the battle of Gokhuparen.

Satyeki